Translation Files:
by animeOCD
Summary: my thoughts on how our three main characters see the things and people around them. mentions of SasuSaku NaruHina NejiTen GarSai KakaYamato InoCho ShikaTema and possibly more? characters a bit OCC...but hey its fanfiction and I said only a bit C:
1. Naruto

animeOCD: Ok so this is my idea of how our three main hero's see their lives and the various things and people surrounding them.

Don't own any of the characters enjoy Ja Ne!

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_**Translation Files:**_

**Uzumaki Naruto:**

**Konoha:** A wonderful place full of wonderful things such as ramen! And the people too I guess; I will protect the village no matter what because I'm going to be Hokage very soon _(see also: Ramen, Hokage and Tsunade)_

**Ramen:** The second best thing in the world! Only place to get it is at Ichiraku's I honestly don't know how people can hate it I practically live of it…well when Hinata Chan let's me (see also: Hyuuga Hinata)

**Hokage:** Leader and protector of the village currently Tsunade Baa Chan soon to be me since she's taken me on as her Hokage apprentice.

**Sanin:** Three legendary Sanin; Ninja who surpass Hokage or equal too but are not. Previously: Tsunade Baa Chan, Pervy Sage Jiraiya and Orochimaru Bastard and currently Me Ultimate Naruto, Sasuke Teme and Sakura Chan_(see also: Teme, Pervert, Monster and Pedi file) _

**Tsunade:** _AKA Legendary Sucker:_ Currently Hokage, monstrous strength _(unfortunately taught it to Sakura Chan)_ Really likes to drink can be found at bar's dancing on tables, at casino's punching away at the machines like she has all the money in the world _(which she doesn't since she's in HUGE debt)_ Or can be found sleeping away at her desk next to a very frustrated Shizune._ (See Also: 'How to avoid her punches')_

**Jiraiya: **_AKA Pervy Sage or The Toad Sage:_ Biggest perv out there writer of Ichu Ichu series _(see Also: Kakashi)_ was my Sanin teacher taught me many valuable things such as how to write a good 'romance novel' and where all the 'best spots are' if you catch my drift _(unfortunately had to stop doing the latter due to certain recent circumstances…See Also: Hyuuga Hinata)_

**Orochimaru:** _AKA Snake Bastard or The Pedi File:_ Stole Sasuke Teme from us _(got him back though Believe It!)_ real creepy guy who has one to many snakes and one to many little boys _(See Also: Michael Jackson) _

**Uchiha Sasuke:** _AKA The Teme also my Best Friend:_ Like a brother to me, is a bit of a social retard and has a chicken butt hairstyle, secretly likes Ichu Ichu _(thinks I don't know…who do you think supplies him?!)_ Trained under the Pedi File has the Sharingan, thinks he's all that currently dating Sakura Chan has an obsession with tomatoes._ (See Also: Team 7, Sharingan, cockatoo but hair style)_

_**Haruno Sakura:**_ _AKA Cherry Blossom a very good friend of mine:_ Like a sister to me, has blinding pink hair and emerald eyes monstrous strength and is a medic nin trained under Tsunade Baa Chan and unfortunately took up some of her bad habits such as: Drinking to the late hours of the night, using her strength on her team mates and has picked up a knack for gambling _(actually good at it due to her smarts and occasional seduction skills much to Sasuke's regret) _currently dating Sasuke Teme _(See Also: 'How to avoid her punches' and 'like Teacher like Student')_

**Hatake Kakashi**: _AKA Copy Nin:_ Is always LATE seriously has this guy heard of a watch!? Never takes of his mask I've always wondered what's under there many tried and failed attempts by or team. **NOTE:** never expect anything from Kakashi if it has to do with time or if he has that little orange book in hand. _(See Also: Ichu Ichu and 'Buck teeth?')_

**Sai:** _AKA Social Retard:_ Member of ROOT is a total social retard always with a dumb smile on his face keeps making jokes about my Penis…it's like he's covering something up if you catch my drift…though I will admit he's a good artist _(See Also: 'Social Retards and what to do with them')_

**Yamato:** _Has the genes of the first:_ can produce wood elemental chakra like the first is very stern always ends up paying for ramen because we all ditch on him _(See Also: Kakashi's Infamous disappearing acts)_ tends to get muddled when Kakashi is around if you catch my drift _(See Also: Yaoi)_

**Team 7:** Keeps gaining members, the best team out there believe it! Full of future Hokage's, Scary women, Social retards, stuttering men and perverts.

**Hyuuga Hinata:** Really cute shy girl with long indigo blue hair and pale violet Hyuuga eyes does this really cute thing with her fingers when she's shy master at fainting **Note:** NEVER GET HER DRUNK! _(Once told me in her drunken splendours she mastered fainting ages ago not from just shyness but to get out of certain things…I've never been prouder!)_ Currently dating ME future Hokage Believe it! _(See Also: 'No pupils WTF?' and Future Mrs. Hokage)_

**Aburame Shino:** _AKA Creepy bug man:_ very silent Hinata's team mate; nice…but scary need I say more?

**Inuzaka Kiba: **_AKA Dog Breath:_ is a total dick head to raunchy his dog has more manners, alright drinking buddy though! _(See Also: Akamaru) _

**Yamanaka Ino:** _AKA Village no1 gossip:_ Bleach blonde flirty girl, works at her parents flower shop best friends with Sakura Chan currently dating Chouji _(who knew hey?) _Uses mind transfer Jutsu for evil means one of them scary women _(See Also: Monster)_

**Akimichi Chouji:** _AKA village no1 glutton:_ Likes to eat is an understatement for this fellow, been madly in love with Ino since the academy _(hid it well I only found out since they started dating)_ has actually cut down on his eating for Ino best friend with Shikamaru is a kind person though _(See Also: Lazy)_

**Nara Shikamaru:** _AKA self proclaimed village coward or village no1 lazy ninja:_ as said previously really lazy guy deems everything troublesome has an IQ of over 200+ picked up smoking not very smart ne? Always watching clouds HOW BORING BELIEVE IT!

**Hyuuga Neji:** _AKA genius:_ Hinata Chan's very scary cousin keeps glaring at me, not a bad person though when he's not glaring at me for being 'inappropriate' with Hinata _(hasn't this guy been laid or something….not that Hinata's some freak in bed or anything…ha, ha, ha…ahem)_ Also inner pervert with his Byakugan _(yea we all know it Neji) _

**Rock Lee:** _AKA Konoha's Green Beast:_ Bushy brows, bowl cut, green spandex, obsessed with youth need I say more? Actually yes I do good kid gives me a good Tai jutsu workout.

**Tenten:** Does she have a last name? Likes pointy things…which scares me too dating Neji have no idea why.

**Sabako no Gaara:** Best friend, fellow jinchiriku Kazeakage of Sand, still wears the creepy eyeliner meh what are you going to do? Unfortunately still a social retard. _(I never said that!)_

**Kankuro:** _AKA Puppet Master:_ Pervert total man whore _(well used to be is currently going out with Kiba wow hey?)_ still a pervert though…likes to play with dolls.

**Temari:** _AKA Princess of Sand:_ Also one of them Scary women _(actually now that I think about it all the women I know are scary crap I'm screwed!)_ fights with a giant fan, also really smart keeps Shikamaru in line _(Actually dating him surprise hey?) _

**Sex/Intercourse:** The best dam thing as long as it involves Hinata and cherries.

**Ichu Ichu Paradise:** The best dam books to have ever been written _(I like how Hinata folds the corners of the pages of things she likes to try)_ Continuing the legacy of Ichu Ichu as the new writer _(Me Uzumaki Naruto is the new writer if you hadn't guessed) _

**Monster:** Every single dam woman I know yes even shy Hinata _(oh she's subtle and takes away lovely __'sleeping rights'__) _

**Believe It!:** My catch phrase…what everyone has one!


	2. Sasuke

**Uchiha Sasuke: **

**Konoha:** A very annoying village, don't get me wrong I wouldn't leave it again but seriously Ninja who use skills for perving and gambling?

**Ramen:** Most disgusting thing in the world how the Dobe can live of that crap is beyond me. _(See also Narutoism)_

**Hokage:** A drunk lady who sucks at gambling seriously if the entire friggin village depended on her gambling skills I'd just sleep in my coffin the night before.

**Sanin:** Me, The Dobe and Sakura, previously A pervert, A Pedi File and An old hag _(See Also, Jiraiya and Ichu Ichu)_

**Tsunade:** A drunken woman can be found at many bars and or casino's monstrous strength _(taught it to Sakura much to my regret)_ current Hokage if she's angry at you I'd dig your own grave.

**Jiraiya:** A total pervert, my biggest Hero seriously those books are golden! And now he's training Naruto with his blessed writing skills _(I'm jealous of the Dobe though I'd never admit it)_ Must remind the Dobe for my latest copy _(See Also: Naruto)_

**Orochimaru: **appearance screams PEDI FILE! Unfortunately taught me, wanted my body _(for more then what he told everyone *shudders*) _tried to obtain my Sharingan. _(See Also: Michael Jackson and Sharingan)_

**Uzumaki Naruto: **_AKA The Dobe or Konoha's no1 knuckle head unpredictable ninja: _Blonde, Loud and annoying but unfortunately my best friend like a brother to me. Brought my sorry arse back to Konoha apprentice of Jiraiya taking over the legacy of Ichu Ichu _(my supplier though he doesn't realise I'm the one taking the spare copies muhaha he's none the wiser) _**NOTE:** the Dobe is highly contagious suggestions? Stay away if you wish to avoid a life of preaching and do-Gooding with the side of arse kicking welcomed to the world 'Narutoism' dating Hinata…ABOUT TIME DOBE! _(See Also Narutoism and Hinata)_

**Haruno Sakura:**_ AKA Cherry Blossom…My Cherry Blossom: _Stunning Pink hair and sparkling green eyes trained under Tsunade and obtained outstanding medic skills and monstrous strength _(unfortunately because this does not go down well for me as her boy friend if I make a wrong move)_ **NOTE: **is highly over emotional if one see's shaking of clenched fists, watery eyes and biting of the lip be prepared for unexpected comforting on your behalf…on the other hand if one see's raised fists, throbbing forehead vein and clenched teeth…you'll be waking up in the hospital Kami knows when and with no recollection of previous events. Is a goddess in bed let's just say excellent chakra control has its advantages _(See Also: Babies and Sex)_

**Sai:**_AKA Social retard:_Smiles like a dick head, has no penis though isn't bad company for drinks.

**Yamato:**_ Clueless: _Dating Kakashi, Clueless that we have learnt Kakashi's act of disappearing _(duh were his students…See Also: Kakashi's Infamous act of disappearing) _when it comes to paying for meals, makes good furniture could possibly own the IKEA world...

**Hatake Kakashi: **_Copy Nin:_ Ichu Ichu's biggest fan…or so he thinks muhaha…*ahem* always carrying around that little orange book constantly begging Naruto to know release dates **NOTE:** Anything to do with time and Kakashi just doesn't mix it's like vinegar and bi-carb soda…blows up in your face Sharingan stealer, always wears a mask **NOTE 2:** possible reasons for the mask: Buck teeth, fat lips or fish lips. Many tried and failed attempts by team 7 to see what's underneath _(must interrogate Yamato later for pictures)_

**Team 7: **Clearly the best team out there no arguments we kick arse my sexiness MAKES this team!

**Hyuuga Hinata:** Very shy girl mastered the art of fainting does some weird finger thingy the Dobe swears is cute. Prone to blushing **NOTE:** the Dobe swears she's a freak in bed and folds pages in Ichu Ichu to try out…get Sakura to hang out with Hinata more.

**Aburame Shino: **I HATE BUGS.

**Inuzaka Kiba:** Does everything with his dog! It's a wonder that puppet guy can stand him with his dog breath.

**Yamanaka Ino:** Another annoying blonde used to stalk me constantly before I left _(See Also: Fan girls)_…or though must giver her thanks on her tips for Sakura in the bed.

**Akimichi Chouji**: Dating Ino WTF happened there?! Eats EVERYTHING! _(See Also: under food 'Tomatoes')_

**Nara Shikamaru: **Lazy arse does nothing but sleep and deem everything troublesome when people mention his IQ…he wishes it was that high no body is greater then me Uchiha Sasuke the Great!

**Sabako no Gaara: **RANGA WEARING EYELINER...*ahem* I mean well renowned Kazeakage of sand…._ (I could still kick his arse…See Also: Ginger vitus) _

**Kankuro:** Plays with dolls fucking LOL…dating dog breath has he no standards?

**Temari:** _AKA Princess of Sand:_ I'll give her that much she seems to be the sanest of the trio, keeps Shikamaru in line…actually keeps all the boys in line alongside Sakura and Ino actually Tenten too and even Hinata…***APIHANY* HOLY CRAP THEY MUST HAVE SOME KINE OF SECRET WOMAN'S CLUB!**

**Rock Lee: **Bushy Brows, Bowl Cut, Green Spandex and Youth. No more on that topic.

**Hyuuga Neji:** said to be a 'genius' but we all know who the real genius is around here Muhaha has gender issues seriously who has hair like that…so silky and long _(must ask for his conditioner…possibly Tenten's…have you seen her hair out of those buns it's friggin shiny!)_ Byakugan got nothing on Sharingan bitches! His rotation chakra defence looks more like ballet _'oh look at me I'm Neji with my shiny long hair and look I'm a pretty ballerina!'_

**Tenten:** Like's weapons, has surprisingly shiny hair and has high tolerance for annoyance.

**Sex/Intercourse:** Best dam thing ever as a 'therapist' I suggest this sexercise at least five times a day great way to waste time and to make babies!

**Hn:** a word…yes it dam well is a word! Used to brush of many questions, answer may vary depending on how it's said.

**Tomatoes:** Best dam food in da world suckers!

**Fan Girls:** annoying girls with nothing better to do than stalk Uchiha Sasuke, very annoying give me useless things such as love letters and chocolates. _**NOTE:**_ **I HAVE A FRIGGEN GIRLFRIEND PEOPLE GET A LIFE!**

**Narutoism: **A new _'religion'_ on might call it or '_preaching'_ by none other then Uzumaki Naruto to follow please abide by these rules:** Must worship ramen like a god, Must do anything for Naruto's chance to become Hokage, Must be a prankster. Must strongly believe in the words believe it! Must be a follower in Ichu Ichu Paradise, Must at some point in their life have a massive realisation from Naruto involving many flash backs and possibly a tear or two and also have the shit kicked out of you by him because apparently that helps.**

**Kakashi's Infamous act of disappearing: **It truly is a skill that Sakura, Naruto and I have been lucky enough to pick up, Simply find a plausible distraction by making one or finding loop holes in a situation and act like everything is ok with a smile **NOTE:** substitution Jutsu helps….DAM LOG _(See Also: The Log)_ it helps in many situations such as: Avoiding a very angry Hokage, getting out of paying for meals, getting out of mindless D ranked missions or little chores, can show up that extra bit later because the infamous disappearing act comes with the gift of good excuses for being late. **Warning:** _does not work on people who have mastered this such as Kakashi's, Sakura, Naruto and I._

**The Log: **A very annoying and strong inanimate object that one day I will defiantly surpass muhah_- *falls over only to see a log appear in a puff of smoke* _**DAM YOU THE LOG!**


	3. Sakura

**Haruno Sakura: **

**Konoha:** A lovely place where I reside with my friends and team…or though there do seem to be a whole lot of perverts, sick people and idiots residing in Konoha I have noticed.

**Hokage:** A well respectful woman, my master who taught me everything…can be found sleeping at her desk or at a bar and casinos' living it up like there's no tomorrow and still manages to keep everyone and everything in line. **GO TSUNADE SHISHOU! **

**Sanin:** Three legendary and well respected Ninja, currently Naruto, Sasuke Kun and I was Jiraiya the toad sage, Tsunade The Slug princess and Orochimaru the snake master-who is also a suspected Pedi File. _(See Also: Michael Jackson)_

**Tsunade:** My Master taught me everything from Medic Jutsu; Super strength refined my chakra to where the best casinos are who's easiest to get money off of and which shots go best with sake truly an idol. _(See Also: Super Kunochi)_

**Jiraiya:** Naruto's master, total hermit wrote Ichu Ichu taught Naruto everything he knows…and I'm not talking about jutsu -.- _(See Also: Ichu Ichu)_

**Orochimaru:** Sasuke's Master total Pedi file need I say more?

**Uzumaki Naruto: Konoha's most unpredictable ninja:** Like a brother to me, even if he is loud and a bit of a pervert…but not everyone's perfect right? **Sasuke:** Yes they are I am. **Sakura:** Oh Sasuke honey…you're on the couch! **Sasuke:** I hate you Naruto! _*trips*_ **DAM YOU THE LOG! Sakura:** anyway soon to be Hokage proud that he finally made it.

**Uchiha Sasuke: Cockatoo butt hair: Currently** dating me, trained under Orochimaru and unfortunately like Naruto and I did pick up a bad habit from his master but thankfully it was one that isn't Pedi filish...well ok I suppose popping up out of no where is Pedi filish but still that's what he picked up. Even if he thinks other wise Naruto and I know he loves Ichu Ichu. _(See Also: Newtons law) _

**Sai:** **Social retard:** Love the kid and all but seriously enough with penis insults it's like every ten seconds _'random generic penis insult'_…I wonder if he's compensating._(See Also: Social retards and how to deal)_

**Yamato:** Dating Kakashi Sensei which is really cute…not that I'm a closet Yaoi fan or anything _*cough cough*_ or though I feel slightly bad to have to use Kakashi's Infamous act of disappearing on him all the time…but hey I figure guy makes enough money and the make up sex with him and Kakashi clearly would make it all better…not that I spy or anything…. _(See Also: Yaoi)_

**Hatake Kakashi: Copy Nin: Note:** Christmas present is a watch! Also must formulate new plan to see what under his mask…could trade Yamato pictures of him and Kakashi for a picture of Kakashi's face…hmmm? Always had Ichu Ichu in hand and anything to do with time is totally lost on him If Kakashi does arrive on time: Something is seriously wrong could be either bad relating to a village or bad relating to your personal life frankly the latter is more scary.

**Team 7:** been through many hardships together but that's what makes us so strong wouldn't change us for anything. _*INNER SAKURA*_ CHA! But you know it's so full of Social retards, loud mouths and men who are more girly then Ino, But think of all the Yaoi goodness.

**Hyuuga Hinata:** You go girlfriend! Finally got Naruto hooked its funny how she has so much control over him and he's none the wiser. Will admit her fainting skills are perfection sure at first it was because of shyness but now it's just as full proof as Kakashi's infamous act of disappearing.

**Aburame Shino:** Nice guy, quiet reserved but umm the bugs are a little of… no offence.

**Inuzaka Kiba: AKA Dog breath:** No more shall be said on this topic other then he is currently dating Kankuro _(which has supplied blood nose worthy pictures CHA!)_

**Yamanaka Ino: Village no1 gossip:** sure she's my best friend and all but seriously girl there called secrets for a reason…and wow her and Chouji that was unexpected  understatement  but anyway moving on **NOTE:** remember to ask Ino for those flowers for the tea…those aphrodisiac ones. _(See Also: Kunochi + Seduction= Results)_

**Akimichi Chouji:** Dating Ino, nice guy really sweet total opposite of Ino. **(See Also: Opposites attract theory)**

**Nara Shikamaru:** My silent rival or though I will never admit…how dare her be smarter then me I was getting higher test scores then everybody in the academy including Ino-Pig and Sasuke Kun! Total lazy arse dating Temari **Note:** remember to get Temari's note's on keeping men in line in next months meeting…I mean _'girls night in'_

**Rock Lee:** nice kid but…EWW AS IF I WOULD TAP THAT…thankfully I don't have to Ayame took care of that job for us (nice girl who lives in the village)

**Hyuuga Neji:** total tight arse I swear he's got a stick up his arse or something…I don't know what our Tenten see's in that boy…or though must get her to tell me the name of his Shampoo.

**Tenten:** Kick arse girl, good friend of mine, says us women should learn more about weapons there good on and off the battle field if you catch my drift. _(See Also: 'apparently Tenten's into S&M)_

**Sabako no Gaara:** total hot emo eye liner wearing bishi Kyaaa and it's so cute when he goes out with Sai, who knew that two social retards found love in one another…_*dreamy sigh*_

**Kankuro:** _Dating Kiba = Choice pictures_ need I say more? _(See Also: EBay prices for pictures)_

**Temari:** Look up to her a lot, great Kunochi, great woman…great man handler Lmaoo must get her notes they are essential also learn that fan dance for umm later _*cough cough*_

**Yaoi:** a very sexy act between two sexy bishi **Note:** try to get Sasuke and Naruto together one night chat with Hinata for details.

**Social retards and how to deal:** Simply when one is faced with a social retard simply smile and tell them anything under the sun as long as you call it advice **warning:** this only works if the person is aware they are a social retard and if you don't like them. On the other hand don't let them learn through psychology books that just equals a bad idea.

**Super kunochi's:** simple. We prove woman can survive in this world we hold it up, we look like were full of emotional baggage but that's just all an act to get the sensitive side of a man out for that extra sexiness.

**Kunochi + Seduction = results:** simple ninja skills and a hot out fit will equal results where and when needed.

**Newton's law/opposites attract theory:**_Every __point mass__ attracts every other point mass by a __force__ pointing along the __line__ intersecting both points. The force is directly __proportional__ to the __product__ of the two __masses__ and __inversely proportional__ to the __square__ of the distance between the point masses:_ This referrers to gravity yea? THEN WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO SASUKE'S HAIR! When they were passing out said law was he away or something _(probably angsting in a corner) _Now I'm also pretty sure this applies to opposites attract right? Yea I didn't get it either it just kind of fit I mean think about it Naruto & Hinata = Quiet shy, Loud and outspoken WTF? Do you get it now?

**Ichu Ichu:** a lovely book full of many ideas must slip Naruto a few pictures for inspiration.

**Michael Jackson:** Pedi file related to Orochimaru possibly his master suspected but still unknown.

**Apparently Tenten's into S&M: **

_Tenten +S&M = Neji in a saddle  
Neji in a saddle/Tenten's influence = Idea's for us girls._

And thus we have the answer to our equation.

**animeOCD:** well I hope you all enjoyed C: it was fun to write :3


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